What advice would you have to people struggling with their gender or identity?
You would remember with all the times I've had to "get out" about something it would get progressively easier with each thing but sadly it's not the case.
I've had to get out about my homosexuality (shock I know) to several class and friends and over time I wore my lesbianism as a self identifier to where it is almost painfully obvious to anyone who would wait at me. Perhaps in this light I wanted to do it that obvious as a way to be capable to nullify the conversation in the next with several masses in my life. If it's that obvious I'm a dyke then I don't have to proceed to explain things. I had a mixed bag over my relations around the receptivity of my readiness and missed a few friends here and thither but overall it was always apart of me and if they can not have it so they can't take me. This isn't to say that these severed connections didn't hurt but experiences in reality that required to be had to define the consequences of my self realizations. In time I knowing that this was simply a fact of spirit that some people prefer to just ignore because it doesn't fit in with their ideals, self identity, or capacity of comprehension. I observe that and only focusing on the power to coexist with these people and go on.
The next exodus from the press was that as a self-identified male, again something that I have made more or less painfully obvious. I do in suits and choose to be thinking of in the masculine pronouns but, again, due to people's comfort levels (or simply based on how long they make known me) don't get uppity about being refereed to as she or her. My outward appearance, despite myself, is still feminine. Over time I knowing that what other people perceive me didn't count as often to me as how I saw myself and whether or not I was comfortable with that portrayal. One of the happiest days in my spirit was when my dear friend, Sergey, had commented that he believed that a feminine soul could be inside the trunk of a manly and vice verse but it didn't take them strange or unlike it scarcely made them who they were. That act not only touched me, but made me that often more easy in my outward existence.
Despite what people may consider and who they are on the inside it actually does matter what other people think of us. No one wants to be viewed as the monster of nature or the psychotic person who thinks they are Example A but they love what they are inside. Perhaps that is why so many people wearing masks to screen themselves from these effects and deepen their part to cause the people they are around. It's easier to deflect the questions, the comments, the roast and venture to be the average Joe with nothing outwardly different about them. Inside, though, the self starts to go still more twitchy and being repressed demanding for it's time on the surface. We compensate through our hobbies and, more often these days, by venting on personal blogs, assuming online identities, and writing anonymously on forums in despair to search out information about what we are to afraid to ask others. We search for answers anywhere but internally praying for the quick fix that will distinguish us how to get it all go out with the rest of pharmaceuticals to pay for "obvious" chemical imbalances or psychological conditions. We use science as a crutch for our logical and rational explanations, however, science doesn't always allow us with answers.
For obvious reasons I've ever been mesmerized by the psychology of an individual wondering what it is near the human intellect that makes us remember certain things and respond to others in the way we do. Growing up in the decades that I bear their own been countless studies alone to try and establish the genetic modifiers that "makes someone gay" or the psychological conditions that may or may not add to homosexuality. Some say it's a choice, others say it's just who you are and yet others go into a more spiritual expression of it citing mythological references about the androgynous created on this earth that satisfy the place between masculine and feminine. Despite it all, however, it comes down to the private beliefs of the soul or persons that live with homosexuality. I'm not hither to indicate what causes homosexuality or why I think I am a lesbian, but demonstrating that something that is widely recognized as an occurrence within the individual, whether biological, psychological or spiritual, is still deep in it's origin. We feel ourselves having to have the fact that not all humanity are "programmed" to live their life the saame way.
If your individuality or sex is isolated from this norm then the better I can provide you in advice is to search out who you are as a soul without the aid of external programming. If it feels right to you as an individual, regardless of what you describe as, and you see yourself a running person in this identity so there is no cause for you not to be this individual. Dependent on your lifestyle, your position and your comfort level I don't believe it's essential to be quite as forward as I about who or what you describe as because, sadly, there are yet people in this world who aren't as open minded or accepting as others regarding personal and outward appearances. Being comfortable with yourself will ever be priority one and the more comfortable you are with yourself, the less you'll find other people's biased as crucial to you. After all, you get to be capable to go with yourself, in all aspects of yourself, before you can be able to truly share who you are with others.
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